When we help children talk about and become curious about death, we ease their fears about what comes next, and ensure them that they—and we— will be OK.
Addressing the elephant in the room allows children to pass without worry and fear, and opens up beautiful, sacred conversations for dying children and their families.
The end-of-life journey can be bittersweet for children, as they make the transition from curative care to comfort care.
There is sometimes a sense of relief that treatment is over, while there is great sadness about leaving their loved ones behind. Often there are siblings who have their own set of fears, guilty feelings, and worries that need to be addressed when all eyes are understandably on the dying child and their needs.
My work is to help the dying child navigate this intense time of letting go, while providing a safe space for parents, caregivers, and siblings to express their profound grief. I hold space for hope and intense feelings, allowing family members to fully experience the love behind those emotions.
My goal is twofold: to help the dying child find peace at end-of-life. And to provide guidance to those most deeply impacted by the child’s death.
Let’s get started
~ Beecher
My Approach
When I talk to a child about the possibility of death, I say, “You know that I love you and hope with all my heart that you will live a very long and happy life. But I also know that you are having thoughts and feelings that may feel overwhelming, and I don’t want you to feel alone. I am curious to know what’s going on inside.”
This is often enough to burst the dam, and the child is at last able to share their incredibly heavy burden. I think that children often feel that they are the only one who knows how the story will end. To open up a conversation with one’s dying child about the reality of death is difficult. It is terribly painful. But it is also the greatest gift we can give to a dying child.
We need to be as brave as our children. In doing so, we can validate their experience and share their fears, so they can feel fully loved, supported, understood, and accompanied in their last days.
Talking to children about death
Services
Bittersweet™ services include 1:1 grief support, both for the dying child and their loved ones. I will be there to help you understand the dying process, and can make appropriate referrals for additional support when necessary.
Grief Support
Losing a child is a deeply devastating and disorienting experience, creating the sensation that we are living in a parallel universe- which can cause a sense of disconnect and loneliness for the bereaved parent. It can be helpful to talk with someone who experienced the loss of a child long ago, and has done the deep work and training to support others as they learn to live with the powerful emotions and seismic life shifts created by an such enormous and profound loss. I adapt my approach to your specific needs, including couples work, and working together to understand and support grieving siblings.
At this time, I offer grief support sessions to bereaved parents through Zoom or phone calls.
End-of-Life Support
During the end-of-life transition, I support the dying child, their caregivers, and their loved ones by providing:
End-of-Life Care | Legacy work | Photography | Spiritual exploration and emotional support | End-of-Life advocacy | Grief Counseling for the dying person and their loved ones | Planning for celebrations of life, ceremonies, funerals, or memorial services
End-of-Life Ceremonies
Contributing to one’s own end-of-life ceremonies can be an especially empowering experience for a child, and eases the uncertainty for those we leave behind. I am available to help children document the things they might want for their end-of-life celebration, funeral, or ceremony, and then help parents plan for the event, incorporating the child’s vision.
On the Farm
Beecher lives on a small farm in a tiny town in Maine. With medical permission, she can offer animal-assisted support with Nigel the bunny or Sweetie, our miniature horse (coming soon!).
Let’s get started.
I offer in-person, telephone, and online support services, adapting my approach to your specific needs. Get in touch to schedule your free 30-minute consultation today.